Perfection is the OLD black – Real wedding planning
Working in the wedding industry blows my mind on the daily. It makes me so excited to be able to call this world my home. But, what I really hate with every fibre of my vertically challenged body is this aim for PERFECTION! When I come across a couple who says “I want a perfect wedding”, I know they aren’t my peeps and I quite frankly vom in my mouth … just a little. When I hear a fellow wedding vendor talk about a couple achieving a PERFECT wedding day, I kind of wanna punch them – hard (NOTE – I don’t, I value my fellow colleagues far too much for that).
I can’t stand this notion of aiming for perfection in the wedding industry, let alone life in general and in all honesty, you shouldn’t either and here’s my very non-researched, completely off the cuff and sometimes ranty reasons why. Stay with me!
1. WHO THE HECK DECIDED WHAT THE PERFECT WEDDING DAY LOOKS LIKE?
Was it the careful curation of the gram? Was it wedding expos and the enticing displays meant to inspire? Was it your parents or well meaning family member and the gentle nudge in the direction of whatever element would shock/impress your guests? Was it a celebrity and their pockets lined with money in order to astonish the world? No one knows what the perfect wedding day looks like and that’s because we are all individuals and the idea of perfect is ridiculously subjective. So why is someone else’s opinion on what your day should look like better than what you really want for you? The answer = it’s not and should never be.
2. YOU ARE NOT EVERYONE ELSE
Just because Sarah had ethically sourced hand dyed napkins at her reception, and they are sooo in right now (insert raised eyebrow emoji here), doesn’t mean for one second that your wedding day is going to fall to shit because you want plain grey napkins. Be authentic in the pursuit of what will set your day on fire (not literally of course). Don’t set out to mimic anyone’s mojo. YOU DO YOU and that will always be enough.
3. NO ONE ACTUALLY CARES
When you’re drowning in your planning lists and you’ve got opinions and views comin’ at ya from all sides; when you can’t seem to decide what kind of flowers to use in your bouquet or what size bouquet will be more “perfect”, STOP; take a deep breath and remember, on the day, when it comes, no one will give a shit. Your people are there to celebrate your happiness and your new adventure, not the number of candles in your centrepieces
4. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED
Your flower girl will throw a tantrum and do a runner, your lipstick will go all over your lover’s face (and because it’s stay fast, that ruby red ain’t going anywhere) and your bridesmaid just might faint from a touch of heat stroke thanks to a 40 degree day and ZERO shade (all real examples). Whatever happens, OWN IT! We are all human and things go awry; Murphy’s Law and all that. Don’t be consumed in what could go wrong, focus on what the day is about and let the chaotic beauty of it all make you laugh and be ridiculously excited about what’s to come.
5. THERE IS NO PERFECT WEDDING DAY!
The big one – and this is important. I know, shock horror, I said it. (Imma be cast out of the wedding industry for my blasphemy). Everyone has a vibe, a feel, a cracking atmosphere they want to create and no matter what it is, it’s gonna be brilliant. I want to make it clear that I’m not wedding shaming any couple and what they choose; that’s not what I’m about. No matter what you’re after, gold cutlery to match the gold fleck on your invites, “Horses” by Daryl Braithwaite to be your special tune as you glide down the aisle (PLEASE … when will this happen?? Asking for a friend) or your entire bridal party to dress as Marvel characters, choose it with gusto. If those things are your jam, go nuts, book away … MAKE IT HAPPEN! Because it’s what you want and it will make you happy. Right? RIGHT?? Equally, if you couldn’t care less about any of that and all you want is to put on some fine threads, head out into the sunset glow and kiss the heck outta your person, then MAKE IT HAPPEN!
So, if you’re still with me after I’ve dumped all over your pinterest/insta wedding dreams, I LUUURRVE YOU! The quest for perfection on your wedding day breeds anxiety, frustration, the occasional bridezilla tantrum and quite frankly can make you fucking nuts. DON’T DO IT. Instead, go into planning with one simple notion; aim for REAL. Real is achievable, real is exciting and real will never let you down. Real will allow you to have one heck of a smashing wedding day, that is all about the two of you and opens the door for a married life that far surpasses that ONE moment in time. And that is far more important if you ask me emoj.